


One Life, No Regrets

by goodluckgettingtosleep



Series: Now or Never - Luke's Bucket List [2]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV 2020)
Genre: Accidental Relationship, Bucket List, Character Study, Didn't Know They Were Dating, Dogs, Emotions, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Luke Patterson-centric (Julie and The Phantoms), Luke and Julie are platonic soulmates, Luke and Reggie are still a little bit in love, M/M, Minor Julie Molina/Luke Patterson, Music, Platonic Soulmates, Post-Season/Series 01, Sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:55:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28265028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodluckgettingtosleep/pseuds/goodluckgettingtosleep
Summary: After crossing almost everything off his bucket list of things he wanted to do before he turned 20, Luke tackles the second list he wrote a few weeks before the Orpheum: Things he originally wanted to do before he turned 30. Life after death still has more in store for him than he ever expected, including some valuable lessons about love and happiness, and about pain and heartache.
Relationships: Alex Mercer & Luke Patterson & Reggie Peters (Julie and The Phantoms), Julie Molina & Luke Patterson, Luke Patterson/Reggie Peters (Julie and The Phantoms)
Series: Now or Never - Luke's Bucket List [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2070648
Comments: 30
Kudos: 117





	One Life, No Regrets

**Author's Note:**

> I felt so inspired after writing Keep Dreaming Like We'll Live Forever that I immediately sat down and started writing a sequel, which turned out even longer than the original story. Oh dear. What can I say. Luke as a character just inspires me in ways I haven't experienced in a long time. I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it!!
> 
> !!! This is a sequel to Keep Dreaming Like We'll Live Forever. If you haven't read that yet, I'd strongly recommend it. It builds some important foundations for this one, especially when it comes to Luke's and Reggie's relationship, as well as Luke's and Julie's.

There was certainly something to be said about losing your virginity to your best friend after you both died from eating a bad hot dog from a dodgy street vendor 25 years prior. Luke hummed, letting his fingertips drum gently on Reggie’s chest, a touch barely even there. 

“You think this feels differently when you have an actual body?” he asked absently, wondering how he could possibly feel so warm and _tingly_ without one. It had been well over a year since they’d come back as ghosts, but they still didn’t have any more answers to how that all even worked. 

“I don’t know,” Reggie said, a hand coming up to brush a loose strand of Luke’s hair from his forehead. “This was _incredible_ , though, dude. I’m glad you put this on your bucket list.” 

Luke chuckled. “Yeah, man. Me, too.” 

It had been quite some time since they had first started working on crossing things off Luke’s bucket list, leaving the best for last, as Reggie had called it. He hadn’t been wrong, really. 

“So, your before 20 list is all done now, right?” 

“After Julie’s prom in April, yes,” Luke confirmed, faintly wondering how many people had ticked off the things on their bucket lists after they had died, when the whole point of them was doing the most with your life while you were, well, _alive_. 

“Well, look at you, bro. And if you only count the time you’ve been a conscious entity on this planet so far, you’re only 19.” Reggie smiled _adorably_. “You made it, babe.” 

Luke snorted. Only he and Reggie could call each other “bro” and “babe” within the span of two sentences without batting an eyelash, really. They weren’t normal, were they? But Luke had always thought that normalcy was a bit overrated. It was lame, mostly, the kind of life his parents had imagined for him. 

“ _Conscious entity?_ Now, those are big words. Who are you and what have you done to Reggie Peters?” 

Reggie poked him in the side, and Luke squirmed, unable to escape him without falling off the couch. 

“I’ll have you know I’m highly intellectual. I read all of the Harry Potter books after Alex was through with them.” 

Luke laughed fondly and pinched Reggie’s side to get his revenge in, making him squirm. 

“Sure, babe.”

Reggie pouted and pushed Luke off him so he was flopping off the couch as well. Luke yelped, flailing, and really, had the carpet always been this scratchy? Not that he’d ever placed his bare ass on it before, but it was a thought to have anyway. 

“Dude!” he complained, reaching for his discarded boxer shorts and quickly pulling them on. He sat next to the couch, glaring at Reggie, who laughed like a complete idiot. But really, Luke thought his glare was probably a lot less intimidating that he hoped, with the way the corner of his mouth kept twitching up. “You’re lucky I love you,” he mumbled quietly, blushing a little. 

“Aww, Luke. I love you, too. Even if you keep insulting my intellect.” 

Luke shrugged. “You were well aware of what you signed up for, bro.” 

Reggie’s eyes flickered over Luke’s bare chest, got caught on his lips, before finally meeting Luke’s, a few pink blotches gracing his cheeks. He grinned.

“Damn right I was.” 

Luke snorted and not to his knees, leaning over to press a quick kiss to Reggie’s lips. 

“You’d better get dressed, babe. Julie and Alex are both overdue. Not sure they would appreciate you flashing them like this.” 

He handed Reggie his underwear and was looking around for his t-shirt when, as if he’d been called, Alex appeared in the Studio. Luke’s eyes shot over to Reggie, who had thankfully managed to pull on his boxers just in time.

“Seriously?” Alex asked, taking in the scene and rolling his eyes. “Please tell me you didn’t, in here.” 

Luke pulled on his shirt and got up to fetch his pants, nudging Alex with his shoulder on the way. 

“Where else would we go? Julie’s room? Not everyone has a ghost boyfriend who owns a private room.” 

Reggie stretched his limbs as he got up from the couch and started looking around for his clothes. 

“Come on, Alex. You knew this was going to happen. It was on Luke’s bucket list, remember?” 

Alex looked distinctly unhappy. 

“Doesn’t mean I wanted to witness it.” 

Luke raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Witness? Dude. Hardly. Trust me, you’d know. And you’ve seen us both in our underwear countless times.” 

“Yes, but I _know_ now, so I got pictures in my head.” 

Luke and Reggie exchanged a look before looking back to Alex and walking towards him, bracketing him from both sides. 

“Gross, dude,” Reggie said, grinning, and pressed a kiss to Alex’s cheek. 

“Let us know if you want to join next time,” Luke teased, leaning in on Alex’s other side, but Alex’s head snapped around so fast that Luke’s kiss landed directly on his mouth. He froze for a second, and Alex froze too, but Luke was faster to recover, hands coming up on either side of Alex’s face. He pressed closer for just a second before pulling back and grinning a bit dumbly, he was sure. He hadn’t intended to kiss Alex, really, but Luke had never been one to hide when he might as well just roll with something he couldn’t control. 

Alex’s eyes were wide, mouth hanging open just a little as he gaped at Luke. Alex had never been very good with surprises. 

“You’re welcome?” Luke said innocently, and that seemed to shake Alex out of it. 

“You’re both ridiculous, I hope you know that,” Alex said grumpily, but Luke could see the smile pulling at his lips. Luke and Reggie high-fived, both grinning, and Luke slung an arm around Reggie and kissed him as well, just because he could. 

“Yeah, we know,” they said simultaneously, immediately falling into another fit of giggles. 

“What’s so funny?” Julie’s voice made all three of their heads snap up, and they found her standing in the doorway of the studio with Nick, who looked just as amused yet slightly disturbed as Julie did. Julie had been spending quite a lot of time with Nick since they’d snuffed Caleb’s evil spirit out of him. He’d tried to get to them using Nick and his feelings for Julie, but Julie’s endless spring of love for those she felt close to had saved Nick in the end just like it had saved them. Caleb was gone now, though, and they were finally free of his supervillain tendencies. Ever since they’d freed Nick, however, he could see them just like Julie could. Their theory was that he’d seen them through Caleb, and now his eyes were used to seeing them, so he just did. He knew what to look for, now. 

“Oh, nothing,” Reggie said, hastily looking for his clothes. He was still standing there in his boxers only, four pairs of eyes on him. 

“Why are you half naked?” Nick asked. 

Alex snorted. 

“They crossed the last thing off Luke’s bucket list,” he said, and Luke shot him a glare. Alex knew exactly when to shut up, he just chose not to.

“Oh.” Julie looked back and forth between them for a moment, then her eyes widened. “ _Oh_! In here?” 

She wrinkled her nose. 

Luke threw up his hands in frustration. He really wasn’t in the mood to discuss his first time with all of his friends present, including the friend he’d had it with. 

“Why is everyone acting like one of us has chlamydia or something?” 

All eyes wandered over to Reggie, who was finally back in his black jeans and a black shirt. He was peeling something off it and only looked up when he realised it had become quiet in the studio. His cheeks flushed in that blotchy way they always did when he noticed that all eyes were on him. 

“What? _Me?_ This was my first time, too, alright?” he blurted. Luke hated them all a little bit. Except Reggie. Reggie was okay, when he wasn’t pushing him off sofas. Which wasn’t true, he loved them all dearly, and Reggie _even_ when he _was_ pushing him off sofas. “Also, I’m _dead_. Pretty sure you can’t carry chlamydia over to the afterlife. Not that I had it before I died, I mean. Uhm.” Reggie coughed and blushed and flailed, and really, he was just the most adorable thing Luke had ever seen. 

“Hey! Leave him alone,” Luke said, glaring at them all in turn. Julie raised her hands in surrender, Nick shrugged, and Alex rolled his eyes in the fondest way possible. He loved them, really. Luke knew he did. 

“Well. Congrats, I guess,” Nick said, and it just occurred to Luke how embarrassing it was that he was there and had to witness whatever this weird yet strangely personal interaction between them was. But then he remembered that he was dead, and who cared what a living teenage boy thought of him, or the thing he had with his bandmate, anyway. So he smirked and nodded, back to his usual nonchalance when he said, “Thanks, bro.” 

Reggie gave Nick a thumbs up and grinned a bit dumbly, so it was really all Luke could do to sling his arm around his shoulders and put him in a headlock. He struggled against him, but Luke managed to hold him steady until Nick announced he was going home and he was distracted for a second, allowing Reggie to throw him off balance, causing them both to tumble to the ground together. Luke scrambled to get the upper hand again, pinning Reggie to the ground with his hands above his head. 

“Two minutes until they’re making out again,” he heard Alex say, and Julie laughed. 

“I give them three.” 

“I think you’re underestimating them.” 

Luke took that as a challenge, and Reggie seemed to as well, but after wrestling for what really felt like a long time, their eyes met, a quick glance at each other’s lips, and they were done for. It wasn’t like it was their fault, really. They met in the middle, their fighting ceasing in favour of kissing, and wasn’t that so much better, anyway? 

“Two and a half! TWO AND A HALF,” Alex announced somewhere in the room, sounding exasperated yet much more fond than he would ever admit. 

“I guess we can both keep our money,” Julie noted, but Luke didn’t really care when Reggie kissed him like _that_. He should write a song about it. 

“Guys, I swear, if I have to watch this for one more minute I’m gonna ditch this band and pull a Bobby on you,” Alex said after a few more moments, and Luke pulled away from Reggie to find Alex wave with his notebook. He was up in a split second, and across the room in another few, snatching his notebook away from his friend and holding it tightly to his chest. 

“At least you can’t record _My Name is Luke_ anymore,” Luke grumbled. That made Alex laugh, and he started singing,

“ _You don’t know me yet, but_ _every night in my bed, I think about introducing myself, just coming up to you standing in the crowd, saying Hi, my name is Luke, and you would smile and take my hand, start this new adventure with me, and run for the stars.”_

It was ridiculous that Bobby had stolen _that_ particular song, really. How had no one noticed? 

It had taken Luke a long time to get over his friend's betrayal, over the fact that he had taken something so personal of his and given it to the world without telling them that Luke was behind those words and melodies. Luke had always wanted to connect with people through his music, in that way only playing music could make you feel connected to each and everyone listening, and knowing that his music _had_ connected with people, but they’d only ever felt like they were connected to Trevor Wilson… well, it _hurt_. Because Luke had died at 17. He’d done so much since, but his dream would never be the same again. His parents could have known so much sooner than chasing it had been worth it after all, even if they had pictured a different life for him. He knew in the end they would’ve given anything for him to have any life at all. 

But there was no point in dwelling on all that anymore. Julie had taught him that. There was new music to make now, a new legacy to build. He couldn’t waste his energy on things he couldn’t change. 

Luke released his death grip on his notebook and put it down on the piano, when the edge of a piece of paper he hadn’t looked at in months caught his attention. It was the bucket list with the things he’d wanted to do before he turned 30. He pulled it out and unfolded it, letting his eyes wander over his awful scribbles. 

“What’s that?” Reggie asked, coming up behind him. 

“It’s my second bucket list.” 

Reggie placed a hand on Luke’s waist and rested his chin on his shoulder, glancing at the list. Self-consciously, Luke folded the paper so he couldn’t see. 

“I was wondering when you would pull that out. Since we’re almost done with the first one now,” Reggie said, voice soft. 

“Nice! What’s on that one?” Julie asked, also coming closer. 

“It’s all the things I wanted to do before I turn 30,” Luke said, glancing at it again, careful to hide his handwriting from his peeking friends. “Number 1, play the _Vans Warped Tour_. Oh, damn! I forgot about that. That shit was going to be _legendary!_ And we never even got to _go_.” 

“I went with my Mom once,” Julie told them, “It was _incredible_.” 

All three of them stared at her. 

“Wait, you did? What year were you born again?” Reggie asked and Luke couldn’t see his face, but he knew his eyes were wide as saucers. 

“2004.” 

“So it’s still going?” Luke felt a swell of hope in his chest. 

“Afraid not,” Julie said, looking as sad as Luke suddenly felt. “At least not for awhile. They stopped last year and apparently it will be back eventually, but there will be a few years hiatus.” 

“So we picked the worst year to come back?” Luke should really learn not to get his hopes up so fast, he thought. Julie merely shrugged, but smiled kindly, reaching out to squeeze his hand. 

“Maybe they will be back soon, who knows. I think last year they also did some anniversary shows. But there are loads of festivals we can play. Or go to, at least.” 

Luke knew his face was lighting up. The prospect of going to festivals and getting to play them as well immediately made his mood skyrocket. 

“Maybe you should finally listen to some new music, then, Lucas. I’ve been telling you, it is _amazing_ ,” Reggie said, and even though he was teasing, his voice was still soft. He wasn’t wrong, either. Luke had been avoiding music newer than 1995 as much as he could, strangely afraid of what he would find and how overwhelmed he would feel by 25 years worth of new music. There was so much catching up to do, and he didn’t even know where to start. So he just hadn’t. Reggie and Alex had been nagging him about it for months, and even Julie had started making him listen to music more and more often by just putting it on and not giving him a choice. 

“Start with _All Time Low_. They released a new album last year, but since you have some catching up to do, I’d suggest you start with their first EP. It’s very accurately called _Put Up or Shut Up_ ,” Julie told him in her bossierst tone and handed him the iPad and a pair of headphones. 

Unable to say anything else, really, Luke took the tablet, plugged in the headphones, and disappeared into a far corner of the studio, accepting his fate. It wasn’t like his friends were wrong. He couldn’t run from his lost years _forever_. 

+++ 

Luke stayed in his corner, sprawled across a bean bag seat for 9 hours and 33 minutes. That’s the time it took to listen to the entire discography of the band Julie had suggested. _All Time Low_. Which was one hell of a band name, really. Julie found him the next morning just as the last chords of their latest album rung out. Alex and Reggie must’ve gone off somewhere during the night, since they didn’t seem to be anywhere in the studio. 

“Did you listen the whole night?” Julie asked. Luke nodded. He couldn’t speak. He was still processing.

“Wow. That must’ve been one hell of a journey.”

Luke hummed a song he thought was called _Therapy_ as he tried to ground himself back in reality after getting completely lost in music for almost 10 hours. 

“What’s the name of the lead singer?” he asked, voice a little hoarse from not using it the whole night. 

“Uhm, Alex Gaskarth. Why?” 

Luke cleared his throat and wiped a hand across his face. 

“Because he probably wrote most of these songs, and they’re _incredible_ , and I guess he’s probably not dead but he should be connected to them anyway.” 

Julie nodded, clearly understanding what he meant. He liked that about her. That she always knew what he meant, even if he didn’t always know how to articulate it.

“How old is he?” Luke asked. It was a pointless question, really, because he of all people knew that age didn’t actually matter as much as people always thought it did. On paper, he was 44 years old. Having skipped 25 years, though, he was now still in the ghostly shape of a 17-year-old while his mind was 19 years old. 

“I’m not entirely sure, actually,” Julie said, pulling out her phone, “I think around like 30? Ah, yes, there. Born December 1987. So he just turned 34, then?” 

Luke huffed and ran a hand through his hair. It was so crazy to think that he would actually be older than this Alex now. But he wasn’t, and while he’d died, Alex Gaskarth had actually got to live his dream. It was hard not to envy him for that. 

“In 1987 I got my first guitar for Christmas. I was so excited. I practiced every single day from that Christmas on.”

Julie reached out and squeezed his hand. 

“Luke…” 

“It’s fine,” Luke said a little too curtly, sighing when he saw the look on Julie’s face. But Julie knew him well, and she also knew when to stop pushing and change the topic instead. Luke was grateful, really. 

“It’s so crazy to think that you were actually alive in the 80s. What was it like growing up then?” she asked. Luke shrugged. 

“Normal? I don’t know. We didn’t have all this technology stuff, so we played outside a lot, watched TV, played games, made music. _Listened_ to music. All that stuff. The clothes were cool, though some of yours look quite similar. Guess it’s been long enough…” 

Luke averted his eyes, and Julie squeezed his hand again. It was difficult to work through the kind of pain he had inside him when he thought back to his childhood and teenage years, and all the years he had missed in between. 

“Luke…”

Luke hummed, smiling sadly.

“When we were 14, and Freddie Mercury died, Reg and I didn’t go to school for an entire week. Our parents were furious, but we just… cried together and played _Queen_ songs the whole week. We were even worse for wear when Kurt Cobain died.” 

“Wow,” Julie said with a smile. “Sounds like something I would do. Flynn cried a lot when Michael Jackson died, when we were in kindergarten.” 

Luke finally jumped up from the bean bag, nearly knocking Julie over. 

“Michael Jackson died?” he screeched. “Who else?” 

He was sure he looked like a crazy person as he was standing there undoubtedly messing up his hair and peering at Julie like she held the answers to the universe. Maybe she did. 

“Oh, uhm. David Bowie,” Julie told him quietly. 

“No! _Not_ Bowie! What kind of a cruel world is this?” 

Luke started pacing, involuntarily, suddenly understanding how Alex must be feeling every time he did that. It had taken well over a year, but maybe he was finally getting the afterlife heebie-jeebies. 

“The same one who took Sunset Curve from us?” Julie said gently. Luke paused. Then he grinned. 

“Yes. We would have been legends, man.” 

Julie chuckled. “So you keep saying.” 

“It’s true! Anyway. Who else?” Luke asked, bracing himself. 

“Prince.” 

“No!” 

“I’m sorry. Do you need a hug?” Julie’s voice was still so soft that something broke in Luke’s chest and he actually did break out into a tear or two. So he accepted Julie’s hug, letting his emotions overwhelm him for a few moments. It wasn’t just the death of a few musicians he adored, he knew that. It was more that it was a reminder of his own fate, and just how much he’d missed. He nearly jumped out of his skin, however, when Reggie and Alex finally reappeared. 

“Is everything alright?” Reggie asked. Luke met his eyes and walked over to hold his hands. 

“You gotta be strong now, Reg.” 

“What! What now?” Reggie’s eyes were wide and he started gnawing at his lower lip, confirming he was somewhat nervous all of a sudden. 

“Michael Jackson died when Julie was in kindergarten.” 

“What! No! You’re kidding?” 

Luke shook his head. Reggie frowned as he was processing the news. 

“There is more.” 

“ _More_? How could there possibly be more?” 

“Bowie and Prince also died.” 

“BOWIE?” Alex cried, flopping down onto the couch rather dramatically. “That can’t be true.”

Reggie blinked at him, then stumbled into his arms and let himself be held for at least an hour as they were sharing their misery. Afterwards they played Bowie songs all day. Some things truly never changed. 

+++

“So, what else is on your list, Luke?” Alex asked later that night when Luke was absently strumming his guitar, trying to remember some of his favourite _All Time Low_ songs he’d listened to the night before. Julie had been right making him listen, really. He hadn’t felt this inspired to write new music in months. 

Reggie crumpled the list into a ball and threw it over to Luke, who caught without even blinking. 

“Number 2: Go to a bar and get drunk.” 

Alex rolled his eyes at him, as he did, and Reggie frowned, probably thinking about how they could still pull off that one. 

“We can go to a bar, but getting drunk will be more difficult, now that Caleb and his Ghost Club are gone,” he mused. Luke nodded. 

It wasn’t like they had never got drunk together when they were still alive. They had just never done it legally in a bar. It was a stupid dream to have, something most people got to do countless times in their lives, but Luke had been 17. Of course he’d wanted to go to a fancy place to get wasted. 

“I can ask Willie if there is any way you can get drunk as a ghost,” Alex offered. 

Luke felt his face light up as he smiled at the prospect. Getting kinda drunk on Reggie’s lips was one thing (and the fucking sap he was, really, he thought), but he did miss the way alcohol could make him stop overthinking and feeling everything so intensely for a few hours. 

“Cool. Thanks, Al,” he said, looking back at his list. “Number 3: Adopt a dog.” 

“Also a little difficult,” Reggie noted. “I wonder if there are ghost dogs...” 

Luke and Alex looked at him with matching raised eyebrows. 

“What? Maybe some of them also got some unfinished business!” 

Luke snorted, shaking his head as a smile was tugging at his lips. He knew it was a fond one. 

“Number 4,” he read, instead of jumping into a discussion about dead dogs. “Play Madison Square Garden. Damn, I was really ambitious, wasn’t I?” Luke huffed. The thought was there, and it wanted to get out. “And we would’ve fucking played there, because look where my songs took Bobby!” 

The thing was, most days he was over it. Most days he wasn’t feeling so bitter anymore, and the _what ifs_ didn’t haunt him around every corner. But every once in a while it still came back up like bile that needed to get out, bitter and acidic. Just like he still felt overwhelmed with regret thinking of his Mom some days. It was better now, less frequent, but Luke wondered if those things would ever fully stop hurting. 

“That bastard,” Alex grumbled. 

“I always knew he was the one who would stab us in the back,” Reggie agreed. 

Luke knew he needed to stop. He felt anger welling up inside him, and he’d never been really good at coping with that particular emotion. His anger had made them miss their gig at Julie’s school dance once, and he wouldn’t allow it to take over again. He’d sworn that to himself, and he’d promised Julie. 

Taking a deep breath, Luke stalked over to Alex’s drums and flopped down on the seat, grabbed the drum sticks and started playing the drum routine for _Now or Never_ maybe a little bit too aggressively. Playing drums had always been a good outlet for his anger, when writing songs and playing his guitar didn’t help anymore. He screamed in frustration when he hit the last beat, finding Alex and Reggie staring at him when he finally looked back up. 

“I hate you a little bit,” Alex said. “That was perfect, and you weren’t even trying. It’s like there is nothing you _can’t_ do.” 

“I’m glad you got that out of your system, babe,” Reggie remarked, smiling at him. Luke kind of wanted to take him somewhere private. 

“You know I can play drums, Alex,” Luke said with a sigh, throwing the sticks to the side and walking over to Reggie. 

“Yes, and guitar and bass and the piano. Not to mention your song writing. It’s not fair. You could be your own band.” 

Luke changed his direction midway and walked over to Alex to pull him into a crushing hug. 

“Oh, but it’s so much more fun with you guys. Being on a stage all by myself sounds lame as fuck, dude.” 

When Luke let Alex go, there was a small smile on his lips, and Luke took that as a win. He punched his arm in a friendly gesture, then finally made his way over to Reggie. 

“You’re coming with me,” he said, voice low, taking Reggie’s hand and poofing them out of the studio. 

+++ 

“The Hollywood sign? _Amazing!”_ Reggie shouted as soon as he realised where Luke had taken them. 

“Private as it gets,” Luke growled, backing Reggie up until he was pressed against the large O. His eyes were wide, lips slightly parted, and he looked like he wanted to say something, but Luke didn’t give him the chance. He kissed him _hard_ , biting down on his lip and fisting a hand into his shirt to keep him close. 

Reggie moaned a little obscenely, clearly taken by surprise, but kissing back eagerly. Luke poured all the remaining anger and frustration into the kiss, making sure to soothe Reggie’s lips with his tongue whenever he accidentally bit down a bit too hard. Moving away from his mouth after a little while, he kissed his way down to Reggie’s neck, his movements getting slower and more gentle as all his negative emotions dissipated and were replaced by the intoxicating feeling he still got from doing _this_ with his friend. Luke took a deep breath as he pulled away and let his eyes roam over Reggie’s tousled hair, his pink cheeks, and red kissed lips. He kissed him gently this time, a soft press of lips that he poured all the positive emotions he had for Reggie in. 

“Dude!” Reggie was panting when Luke pulled away for good and took Reggie’s hand instead. “That was _intense_.” 

“Thanks for that, Reg. I’m feeling much better now,” Luke said with a smile. Reggie cleared his throat, but returned his stupid little smile. 

“Happy to be of service.” 

Luke felt something flutter beneath his ribcage as he looked at his friend, and he grabbed him by the front of his shirt and kissed him again, channelling that feeling. He loved this thing he and Reggie had going, he really did. It was so good. And there was no need for them to officially _date_ to have it. But some days he still wondered. Not only what it would be like now, but also what might have been if they hadn’t died. _What if_. 

Luke hummed as he pulled away, staying close and reaching up to brush a strand of Reggie’s hair from his forehead. 

“You think we would’ve ever done this if we hadn’t died, Reg?”

Reggie’s eyes were wide as they met his, flickering up from where they’d been fixed on his lips. 

“I don’t know, man. Maybe. We got chemistry. It’s hard to avoid,” he said quietly, and Luke reached out to intertwine their fingers. 

He huffed out a laugh as a thought occurred to him. 

“That would’ve been quite the headline, if we had become as famous as Bobby did with our music.” 

He shouldn’t have come back to that, Luke knew he shouldn’t have. But somehow, being in this bubble he’d created with Reggie, it was easier to just not let it get to him again. He had learned to cope a little better with his impulsive emotions, all thanks to Julie, so the anger didn’t flare up again the way he’d feared it would. 

_“Is Sunset Curve frontman Luke Patterson dating fellow bandmate Reggie Peters?”_ Reggie recited in a sensationalist news reporter voice. Luke laughed. 

“Well, is he?” he asked. It was a question that had been a long time coming. They could only fool themselves for so long, and Luke had wondered if they had accidentally, inexplicably started dating after all. 

“Not officially, but I think we might as well be, _accidentally_.” 

Luke grinned, shaking his head in disbelief because they were on the same page again, and it was too good some days to be a real thing. Was that really what dating your best friend felt like? Not that they were… _dating_. 

“That’s what I was thinking. The others don’t say it in so many words but I know they just think we’re being ridiculous. Julie told me to get my head out of my ass the other day. How crude is that? Can you believe her?” 

Reggie laughed. 

“Wow. You must’ve really driven her up the wall.”

Luke shrugged. 

“That’s my specialty.” 

There was a moment of silence, and Luke stepped back a little, eyes wandering over the huge letters of the Hollywood sign. 

“This was on my bucket list, by the way. Number 5: Climb up to the Hollywood sign. Bonus points for kissing someone up there.” 

Reggie punched him on the shoulder, grinning. 

“ _Good_ one!” 

Laughing, Luke poofed them up on top of one of the letters, twirling around as he took in the view, the lights of the valley twinkling in the distance. 

“I’m glad you wrote those lists. Because I didn’t, but I get to experience all this cool stuff with you anyway. Thanks, bro,” Reggie said, almost sounding a bit reverent as he let his eyes wander. 

Luke stalked over to him and placed a rather wet sort of smooch directly on his mouth. 

“You’re welcome, _bro_.” 

They both burst into a fit of giggles, and Luke couldn’t even remember why he had got so angry earlier. It didn’t matter what Bobby did to them. He had to live with that guilt, and Luke got to have a second chance that not only allowed him to play music with his best friends, but also let him be silly and irresponsible and _ridiculous_ with one of said friends. Everything else could go to hell, for all he cared. 

+++

Reggie poofed them to a corner a few streets away from Julie’s house, telling Luke that they hadn’t gone on a walk for ages, because they always poofed everywhere, and wasn’t that kind of sad? He handed Luke one of his headphones and started playing music on the phone Julie had given him after he hadn’t stopped nagging her about it for weeks. 

“Check this out,” Reggie said, and Luke zoomed in on the music filling his ears. It was a softer song, with punk elements, but also sounding kind of indie, and maybe had some country influences. It was really hard to define, and Luke _loved_ it. 

“Dude! This is _sick_. Who is this?” he asked, grabbing the phone from Reggie’s hands. 

“It’s a band called _The Maine_. I’ve been listening to them a lot, they’re _so_ cool,” Reggie told him, jamming along to the song on their ears. Luke felt his limbs twitch as well, eager to let himself get lost in the melody. 

“What’s the lead singer called?” Luke asked, because that was the thing he always asked now, haunted by his own fate. 

“John, I think,” Reggie said, shrugging. Luke glared at him, opening _Google_ on the phone he was still holding. 

“John O’Callaghan,” he read after a few seconds. “Born 1988. _Damn_.” It was still hard to get over the fact that all those great musicians would be younger than them, if they had ever aged past 17. 

Reggie hummed. 

“I got my first guitar that year.” 

Luke turned to look at him. 

“Really? I got mine Christmas 1987.” 

“Yeah… I got it for my 10th birthday,” Reggie told him. They were both quiet for a moment, listening as the next song started playing. 

“So strange to think that it’s been over 30 years, when it feels more like… 9 or 10, like _max_ ,” Reggie remarked a few minutes later.

Luke hummed. He knew he could follow that train of thought down a long spiral if he allowed himself to get into it, but at the end of the day he couldn’t change it, and there was no point in feeling any kind of despair or anxiety over it. 

“Yeah, let’s not open that can of worms,” he said instead, and Reggie nodded.

“Probably best.” 

Luke had never really been an overly anxious person like Alex was, maybe. But he had his fair shares of anxieties he worked through in the quiet of his mind, never really letting anyone in on them, or even letting them know they were there at all. But his tendency to overthink things and feel them so intensely was what had made him start writing music in the first place. It was therapeutic, putting all his thoughts and feelings onto a page, adding emotion in the form of a melody, and letting it connect with other people who might be feeling similar things. It was the best thing in the world, and Luke had always craved that connection more than anything. The fact that Bobby had taken _his_ most private thoughts and feelings and anxieties… Well, Luke really couldn’t get into _that_ again, for the third time that day. He really needed to talk to Julie, clear his head and maybe collect a comforting hug that made him believe she was right. Maybe write an angry song about it, too. 

“You okay?” Reggie asked with a gentle tone of voice, and Luke felt a swell of pride in his chest. Reggie had come so far, perhaps the furthest of them all. He used to be so out of the loop with his own emotions, never mind the emotions of those around him. But he’d become much more attuned to them, and Luke thought that was probably thanks to Julie as well. Maybe the two of them didn’t have a connection quite as deep as the one Luke had with her, but there was love and friendship there for sure, and a dynamic even Luke couldn’t quite understand. It was nice to see, anyway. The way they supported each other. 

Luke took Reggie’s hand and intertwined their fingers, looking up to smile at him.

“Yeah. Thanks for showing me this band. I’m really digging it,” he said, meaning it.

Reggie smiled back at him and squeezed his hand. 

“I thought you might.” 

+++

Luke found Julie in her room when he and Reggie returned from their little trip. She was smiling at her phone when Luke knocked and popped his head through the door, asking if he could come in. 

“Sure,” Julie said, patting the mattress next to her, inviting Luke to join her on her bed. 

“What are you smiling at?” Luke asked, smiling too, because Julie’s smiles were infectious like that. Julie seemed to blush a little bit. 

“Oh, I’ve just been texting Flynn and Nick.” 

Luke tilted his head. 

“Aww, and here I was thinking you were flirting with someone.” 

He’d been hoping Julie would find someone, too. It didn’t do being hung up on _them_ and all their _what ifs_. Julie deserved better than that. 

Julie was definitely blushing now, and Luke raised an eyebrow. Now that was an interesting development. 

“I— I might be.” 

Luke gave Julie a gentle, supportive shove on the shoulder. She smiled a bit sheepishly, hiding her face behind her hands. 

“Oh? And who’s the lucky person?” 

Julie whined a little, putting her phone to the side.

“Both. I think.”

“Oh?” Luke needed a moment to process that exactly she meant. “ _Oh!_ Well, I certainly know what that feels like.” 

Julie sighed.

“Yeah… I’m just so confused. Like, I had a crush on Nick for _years_ before you showed up. Then he asked me on a date, but I said no because I had a crush on _you_. But we’ve been spending so much time together lately, and he’s just… so cute and supportive. I don’t know. I really like him. But then, lately I’ve also started seeing Flynn in a different light. I just feel so close to her, you know? She’s my best friend, though, and how can I…” Julie trailed off and Luke reached out to take her hand, squeezing it softly. 

“Well, I know what _that_ ’s like, too.” 

“Yeah, but you said you only realised you liked Reggie that way when you kissed him. So it was already done and you didn’t have to agonise over it.” 

Luke hummed. 

“True, but it just made so much sense then, you know? It just never occurred to me before, but I was too focused on my music to think about dating anyway.” 

Julie raised an eyebrow at him, a smirk pulling at her lips, and Luke immediately realised his mistake. She’d been nagging him about this for weeks, of course she would immediately latch onto his choice of words. 

“ _Dating_ , huh?” 

Luke felt a faint blush creep to his cheeks. He was being ridiculous, really, he knew he was. 

“I mean… we might be… _accidentally_ … dating. Technically. A little bit.” 

Julie laughed out loud, and it was so infectious that Luke couldn’t help the fond smile on his face, even though he should be offended, really. But he knew exactly how ridiculous he sounded. He made a mental note for a new song idea. _Accidentally Dating._

“Why are you so opposed to this idea?” Julie asked, still laughing. Luke glared, but the corner of his mouth was still twitching upwards. 

“Why are _you_ so in support of it?” 

Julie shrugged, her laughter morphing into a fond smile. She wrapped an arm around his and held on. 

“I just want you to be happy, Luke. And you look happy when you’re around Reggie. What’s keeping you from making a commitment?” 

Luke focused on Julie’s thumb that had started rubbing circles onto the skin of his arm. 

“It’s not just me. Reg and I are on the same page. We’re _dead_. It just seems a bit silly to conform to society’s standards after you literally _died_. Plus, I’m happy around you, too, Molina.” 

Julie snorted. 

“I give you that first point, but the second one? You don’t kiss me, Patterson, so it’s hardly the same.” 

Luke shrugged, his smile turning onto something a little more flirty, even though he really knew he shouldn’t.

“I don’t, but I _could_.” 

Julie dropped his arm and punched him instead, right onto the side of his chest. 

“Don’t even suggest that!” 

Luke held up his hands in surrender, squirming when she kept punching him. 

“Alright, alright!” Luke laughed. “I’m sorry.” 

Julie glared at him, but her smile gave away her real emotions. 

“Damn right, you are. We’re over this, Lucas, and we’re not going back. You love Reggie anyways. Maybe it’s time you admit it.” 

Luke shrugged, tilting his head. 

“Yeah, of course I love Reggie. So?” 

Julie rolled his eyes at him, her fond smile back on her lips. In another universe, he would’ve kissed her. In this one, he would give her advice, get her advice in return, and go back to the studio to kiss his best friend later. But as haunting as his _what ifs_ usually were, he couldn’t say he minded that this was his reality. It was good that way, and Reggie was and would never be his second choice. What he and Luke had just was. And it was special. 

“So what do you suggest I do about Nick and Flynn?” Julie asked after a few moments of shared silence. Luke had never been very good at relationship advice. He’d always felt too inexperienced, and too preoccupied with his music to get involved, not wanting to give bad advice either. It wasn’t that he didn’t understand people’s emotions, or interpersonal relationships, because he did. Sometimes he was too attuned to them, even. He’d grown up loved and cared for by his parents, and even though it had all fallen apart in the end, he had been very lucky growing up. It had just taken him too long to see it. Maybe he should have been more patient with them, maybe they should’ve been more patient with him, maybe… Shaking himself out of it, Luke focussed back on Julie, who was looking at him expectantly. 

“You gotta listen to your heart, Molina,” he said. “And to your gut. That gut feeling is usually on to something. Don’t stress. What happens, happens.” 

Julie made a face.

“What happens, happens? _Really?_ _That’s_ your advice?” 

Luke shrugged. 

“I’m right, though. I can’t solve this for you. But look, I didn’t plan this thing with Reggie either. It just happened. And then I went with it because it felt right. It’s like writing music. You just go with your heart and see where it leads you, and sometimes insane things happen.” 

Julie hummed, wrapping her arm back round his. 

“You’re pretty wise for a ghost, you know?” 

Luke leaned over to rest his head on her shoulder. 

“I got my moments, I guess…” 

They were quiet again for a little while, just enjoying each other’s presence, and Luke started writing the new song in his head. 

_I don’t know how it happened,_

_just know where I am now._

_It’s incredible, this thing between you and me,_

_and I can’t remember how,_

_But it didn’t take me long to see_

_everything that makes us so unique._

_Babe, I think we might have accidentally started dating, started dating,_

_and I don’t know what to say,_

_Because you’re my best friend, bro,_

_and I think we accidentally started dating._

“Luke?”

“Hm?”

Luke tried to save the lyrics he’d just thought of somewhere in his mind so he could write them down later, but he feared he would forget them anyway. “Wait, can you hand me a pen and paper, please?” he blurted, cutting Julie off before she could get a word out. Not even questioning him, Julie gave him both from her nightstand, and Luke started scribbling the words down in his awful scrawl. 

Julie let him finish before she spoke again. 

“What did you come here to talk about?” she asked. Luke put the piece of paper down and started playing around with the pen in his hands instead of looking back up at Julie.

“Nothing important, really. It’s just… I got so angry again earlier because Bobby came up. A point on my list was playing Madison Square Garden. I know he did that. And… _well_ , I managed to get it out of my system, Reg helped as well, but I just found myself spiralling back to it again and again. It’s so hard to accept, Jules. It seems so unfair.” 

Julie took Luke’s hand and started rubbing circles onto the back of it. 

“It _is_ unfair. But it’s like I told you before, Luke. You can’t change it no matter what you do. So when you feel yourself get angry, you need to stop and think if it’s worth wasting your energy over. I learned that in therapy. Maybe it won’t work every time, but at least you tried. You’ll be fine.” 

Luke smiled at her. He’d been so right to come to her. Of course he’d already known what she would say, but Julie was an eternal reminder why didn’t want to be angry all the time. She grounded him, and showed him new perspectives in a way no one else could. 

“Now who’s the wise one in the room?” he asked. 

Julie clapped a hand on Luke’s thigh. 

“I think we both aren’t half bad.” 

+++ 

“Number 6: Go back home for Christmas,” Luke read quietly when he was wedged between Reggie and Alex that night, all three of them sprawled on the floor and staring at the floating chairs on the ceiling. 

There were two hands immediately grasping each of his, and really, Luke had the best friends in the universe. 

“Why was that one not on your 20 list?” Alex asked, voice gentle. He knew it was a difficult topic for Luke, they all did, and Luke appreciated the care he put into his words. 

“Because I wanted to go back when I achieved something. When I had something to show for, to prove to my parents that my music was worth making and that I could make a career out of it. It’s not like… not like I _never_ wanted to go back. I just didn’t know how long it would take.” 

Luke didn’t look at Alex but he knew his friend was nodding along. 

“And you chose Christmas because that was when you left as well. Got it,” he noted. It wasn’t a question, but Luke agreed anyway. Had he known he would never get to have a Christmas with them again… Maybe he wouldn’t have run out on his parents a few days before Christmas. It was just another one on his endless list of _What Ifs._ Christmas had always been so special at their house, growing up. He’d baked cookies with his Mom every year, and they would play board games together every night leading up to Christmas day. He wondered, painfully, how his parents had spent the Christmas days the year he ran away, and every year since he died. 

“Christmas is only a week away. Do you want to go?” Alex asked. Luke thought about it for a moment, the idea painful and comforting at the same time. But he knew, deep down, that it was something he probably needed to do, or he would spend eternity wondering. He had already chickened out the year before, and poofed himself right to Australia, just to be as far away as he possibly could. Maybe it was time to stop running. 

“I think I have to,” Luke said. 

“Do you want me to come?” Reggie asked quietly. Luke’s first instinct was to say no, that he needed to be alone with his parents, but the thought of having Reggie there to lean on was too tempting to shake off. Plus, if he was almost his boyfriend anyway, it was only right he would take him to his parents for Christmas, right? 

“Yeah. That would be cool,” he said, and Reggie squeezed his hand in response. 

“I wish I could give them a present,” Luke mused absently, keeping himself tethered to reality just so by the feeling of Reggie’s and Alex’s hands in his’. 

Alex was the first one to speak again.

“Maybe you can. You could record _Unsaid Emily_ and put a little message at the end. They should be able to hear it if it's recorded, right?” 

Luke bolted upright, beaming in Alex’s general direction in the moonlit studio. 

“Alex! You are a genius! What the hell?” Luke scrambled over and tackled Alex into a hug, which was soon joined by Reggie as well after Alex had ushered him over when he realised Luke wouldn’t let go, so they ended up in a pile on the floor like they did so often, and Julie found them like that the next morning, which she also did so often. 

Luke jumped up the moment he saw her, still buzzing with the idea Alex had put into his head in the middle of the night. 

“Julie! Alex had this amazing idea, but I need your help with it…” 

It didn’t really come as a surprise that Julie was nearly as excited about the idea as Luke was, and a few hours later she showed up with a studio microphone and her laptop, ready to record. Luke was amazed at how easy it seemed to record a CD now, how all that was needed was a portable microphone and a laptop, making it possible for everyone to record music in the middle of their living room. He really hated the fact that he missed out on all the technical advances. 

Luke cried while performing _Unsaid Emily_ , like he usually did, and when he looked back up, all his three friends were crying too, and they all huddled together in a big group hug. When his tears had dried up enough again to be able to speak, Luke sat back down to record the message for his parents. 

“This song is for you, Mom. I want you to know that I want to come back one day, when I can prove to you that I can achieve something good, something _great_ with my music. I _know_ I can make it.” Luke’s voice cracked. He hadn’t thought it would be quite so difficult to pretend like it was still 1995 and all his dreams hadn’t been cut short by a bad street hot dog of all things. “I just need you to trust me…” 

He poured his heart out, said everything he’d still wanted to tell them for so long. By the end of the message, they were all crying again. Reggie wiped furiously at his eyes, cheeks covered in red blotches, and Alex looked like he needed to be hugged for 25 years again. 

To make it believable, they had all agreed that Luke needed to act like he had recorded the message around the time he’d written _Unsaid Emily_. It was a painful reminder of all their _what ifs_ , as a band and as individuals, and Luke felt it like a stabbing pain in his chest. He knew he would rip open some wounds in his parents as well, but he’d seen how those wounds had never closed up anyway, so maybe it would help them get some closure. The song had said everything Luke needed to say, for him, but he still wanted them to know that he always had every intention to come back one day. He loved his parents. He hadn’t stopped loving them when he’d run away to chase his dream of making music for a living. The pain of his regrets, the loss, the immeasurable heartache he’d brought over his family… he’d gotten so much better and dealing with it ever since Julie had taken _Unsaid Emily_ to them, but some days he still felt struck down by it, overwhelmed, so much so that he felt like he couldn’t even move or _breathe_. Which was a strange feeling, because he was dead, and he didn’t actually need to breathe. He still did, though, muscle memory and all that. Or, at least phantoms of that. 

They spent the rest of the day lounging on the couch watching some reality show about five queer dudes giving other people make overs, while Julie was editing the recording and putting it on CD. 

When she was done, Luke wrote _To Mom and Dad_ on it, and wrapped a small red bow around the case. He was all set. 

On Christmas Day, Luke and Reggie went over to Luke’s parents’ house and put the CD on the doorstep, ringing the bell, both watching nervously as Mitch opened the door and looked around in confusion, only spotting the CD as he was about to turn back around and close the door. 

He picked it up gingerly and gasped softly when he read the title in Luke’s awful handwriting. 

“Emily!” he called as he returned back into the house, Luke and Reggie following suit. Emily was already clutching the CD in her hands, eyes watery, when they arrived in the living room. 

“Do you think that lovely girl Julie found this and brought it over?” 

“Maybe,” Mitch said gently, squeezing her wrist and taking the CD from his wife and walking over to put it in the CD player. 

Seconds later, Luke’s voice started filling the room as he was singing _Unsaid Emily_ , and his mother immediately started sobbing, clinging to her husband’s side. Luke took Reggie’s hand, his own eyes stinging with tears, and walked over to place a ghostly hand on his Mom’s shoulder. Instinctively, Emily reached up and placed her own hand on Luke’s. It went right through, of course, but Luke left it there anway, accepting the strange sensation and the gut wrenching ache of not being able to touch her. 

Luke sang along to himself, and Reggie wrapped an arm around his waist, resting his chin on Luke’s shoulder, just comforting him with his presence. Luke was glad he was there. He knew it couldn’t be easy for him, but he was there anyway, and he loved him all the more for it. 

When the song was over, Emily was still clinging to Mitch, who had also started crying, and Luke wrapped himself around them as much as he could without passing through them. This was harder for them, he knew. Because he could see them, and communicate in his own ways, but all they could do was listen and read things of him that they thought old. He was long gone, for them. 

“It’s so beautiful, Mitch,” Emily said, voice broken, “The song… my boy. His voice. He _wrote_ this by himself. I never knew…” 

Mitch nodded, pulling her close. “We both didn’t know, Em… our boy was so talented, and we never stopped to listen.” 

Before they could say anything else, Luke’s voice filled the room again. Julie had put in a pause to give them a second to breathe on purpose, he knew. 

“This song is for you, Mom,” Luke said on the recording, and the cry Emily let out ripped his heart to shreds. “I want you to know that I want to come back one day, when I can prove to you that I can achieve something good, something _great_ with my music. I _know_ I can make it. I just need you to trust me. This is what I need to do, Mom. I want you to be proud of me, but only for something I am 100% behind. And that’s my music. Maybe you will understand one day. I hope so, because I miss you terribly. And I’m so sorry I left. I’m sorry I’m still gone. But I want you to know that I’m doing really good. My band and I are going to play the Orpheum next week. Can you believe it? The _Orpheum_ . And we sold it out, too! It’s completely _insane_! Anyway. I hope you like the song, Mom. It means the world to me. I love you. I’m sorry. Oh, and also, Dad, please take care of Mom. I know she worries a lot. But she doesn’t need to. I really am fine, and I will show you. One day. I miss you a lot, Dad. Bye.” 

Luke couldn’t watch as his Mom sank to the ground crying, his Dad going right down with her, and they were crying into each other's arms, so he turned and cried into Reggie’s neck, focussing on the way he felt around him, his familiarity, and drew comfort from that. 

“My boy. My baby. Luke…” he heard his Mom say, and for one terribly hopeful second, he thought she could actually see him. “Wherever you are, I don’t know if you can hear me, but I want you to know that we’re _so_ proud of you. I love you so much, I never meant to lose you this way. I thought I was doing what was best for you, but I know now that I should’ve listened. I should’ve trusted you. I’m so sorry, my boy. It’s been so long…” 

And then she broke down in tears again, and Luke felt so lost, he looked over Reggie’s shoulder at the Christmas tree they had never exchanged, and the faded looking presents underneath it. He knew without looking further that they were his presents, the ones he had never unwrapped that Christmas he left, and that they’d undoubtedly been putting out every year since. 

“This is the best Christmas present I could’ve ever hoped for,” Emily said. “Hearing his voice again. The things he said… I miss him so much, Mitch.” 

“Me too, Em. Me too. Oh, my boy…” 

Reggie rubbed a hand over his back and just kept holding on to him, until Luke’s voice filled the room a third time, when a copy of their demo started playing. _Now or Never_ was so upbeat, it helped dry the tears in the room, and once _Late Last Night_ started playing, Luke’s parents were back on their feet, slowly starting to dance along to all that was left of Luke’s legacy, admittedly a little bit awkwardly since it was far from the music they were usually listening to, but it made Luke’s heart swell all the same. 

Luke pulled away from Reggie, smiling weakly, and his friend shoved his shoulder with a matching smile. Luke pushed back, and then they were jumping along to their music that they had poured so much of their hearts in, and along with Luke’s parents, who were both smiling in a way Luke hadn’t seen them smile since Christmas 1993. 

+++

Luke and Reggie were both red cheeked and smiling when they returned to the studio later that night. His parents had listened to the recording on repeat for a few hours, before watching _Home Alone_ on the TV; Luke’s favourite Christmas movie. It was Reggie’s favourite too, so they had stuck around for it, cuddling up on the armchair while Luke kept casting glances at his parents, who looked more peaceful than he’d seen them since he returned as a ghost. 

“I wish we could still sleep, ‘cause I sure as hell feel exhausted now,” Luke said as he flopped down on his couch and closed his eyes. Reggie put his phone in his hands, and stuck a headphone in each of Luke’s ears. 

“This is as close as it gets,” he told him softly, placing a blanket over him as well, and then Luke felt his lips brush against his in a quick, gentle kiss. Luke sighed and let himself drown in the music in his ears for a few hours. 

He was shaken out of his non-sleep when Alex shook his shoulder, and Luke needed a few moments to orientate, blinking at his friend and against the bright rays of sunlight coming in through the studio windows. 

“Wha-?”

Alex looked all excited, eyes gleaming, and Luke sat up slowly, rubbing at his eyes as if he’d actually been asleep, the emotional night before still wearing down on his bones.

“Luke! Get up, I got a surprise.” 

“Alright?” Luke was clearly still a bit out of it, and needed several seconds to process. He had no idea what Alex could possibly be on about. It didn’t help that Alex just poofed them out of the studio before Luke could have any other thought. 

They landed on the side of a road close to the beach, where there seemed to have been an accident, and Willie was crouching in the grass on the side, petting a small dog. Luke narrowed his eyes at the scene around him, his mind slowly catching up. 

Sure enough, there was a small, covered figure lying in the middle of the road, next to a crashed motorcycle. _Dog ghost_ , his brain provided, strangely using Reggie’s voice. 

Willie picked the pup up, and carried it over, passing it to Luke. It was so small, a pomeranian, he thought, its fur soft and fluffy, like a tiny cloud or something. 

“So dogs _can_ have unfinished business?” Luke asked incredulously as the dog started licking his hand. Oh, he loved it already. 

“Looks like it,” Alex said, shrugging. 

“Yeah, I’ve come across some before. All kinds of animals, really,” Willie told them. “Impossible to know what it is, though.” 

Luke nodded. “Yeah…” 

He held the dog up so he could look in its eyes. They were big, and curious, and it was so cute, Luke wanted to smother it with cuddles and kisses. 

“What are you gonna call it?” Alex asked. Luke thought about it for a moment, eyes flickering to Alex’s _Bowie_ shirt and the small moment they had the other day when they’d found out that David Bowie had died. 

“Bowie,” Luke said, looking back at the dog. It was panting excitedly. 

“Awesome!” Alex came over to pet Bowie’s head. Luke smiled at him. 

“Thanks, Al. This is the best Christmas present I got in a long time.” He leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. 

“You’re welcome. We were skating along the road when we saw the accident, and the moment Bowie appeared I went to get you.” 

Luke was so grateful for his friends, really. They were the best in the world. 

+++

That night, Luke was sitting on the couch playing with Bowie when Reggie finally reappeared in the studio. He’d been out with Julie all day running some mysterious errant he wouldn’t tell him about, so he had yet to even meet Luke’s newly adopted dog. 

Reggie’s eyes widened the moment he spotted the pup, mouth dropping open as his excitement was radiating off him in waves. Luke grinned. 

“A _dog!_ What! How!” Reggie was across the studio in a split second, picking Bowie up from Luke’s lap. Luke laughed fondly, because Reggie was beaming and it was the most adorable thing he had ever seen. 

“Reg, meet Bowie,” he said. 

“ _Bowie_ _!_ Hello, you.” Reggie started babbling to the dog in a baby voice, and Luke wanted to wrap them both in a blanket and keep them close. His chest felt all warm watching them. “Aren’t you just the cutest!” 

They were both sitting cross legged on the couch playing with the dog when Julie came into the studio, frowning at them. 

“ _What_ are you doing?” she asked, as if they had finally lost their minds for good. Right. Julie couldn’t see Bowie. For her, it looked like he and Reggie were just passing a small ball back and forth while cooing at each other. 

“Luke got a dog,” Reggie explained, still bubbling with excitement. 

Julie’s frown turned into a curious look. 

“Like, a ghost dog?” 

“Yeah. Alex and Willie found him on a road near Malibu Beach after a motorcycle accident this morning. Alex knew I wanted a dog, because I put it on my list. And here we are.” 

Julie shook her head, laughing fondly at them. 

“That’s amazing, you guys. I wish I could see him. What’s his name?” 

“ _Bowie_. But we don’t actually know if it’s a he. I haven’t checked, but it’s not like it matters,” Luke said, scratching behind Bowie’s ear. 

“I love that name.” Julie sat down on the floor in front of the couch, looking up at them. 

“So, I went on a date with Nick today,” she mentioned casually, and Luke immediately stopped playing with Bowie to look at her. 

“How was it? Any enlightening moments?” Luke asked, genuinely wanting to know. Julie sighed.

“Wellll… I’m not sure. I kissed him. It was a good kiss. You know, for a first.” Julie blushed. “But I’m not sure.” 

Luke nodded. “So, date with Flynn next?” 

Julie looked distinctly unhappy at that suggestion, so Luke nudged her with his foot as a silent way of asking what she was thinking. She sighed.

“I’m not sure. We’ve been best friends forever. I don’t want to ruin that, and I’m not sure how she would react if I asked her. I mean, I do know. I just don’t know if she feels the same.” 

“You could write a bucket list and trick her into kissing you,” Reggie suggested with a wink, and Luke kicked him with his outstretched foot. 

“You practically _jumped_ at the opportunity, if I remember correctly,” Luke said teasingly. 

Reggie shrugged, smiling sheepishly.

“Never said I didn’t.” 

Julie snorted. “You two are adorable.” 

Luke threw a pillow at Reggie’s head, and Bowie jumped after it, tackling Reggie backwards, making him yelp. Luke laughed delightedly, shrugging when he caught Julie’s knowing look. 

“So, is there anything left on your list?” she asked, just when Alex decided to honour them with his presence again. 

“Looks like I timed this perfectly,” he said, flopping down next to Julie on the floor. “Let’s hear it, Luke.” 

Luke sighed and pulled out the list, scanning it with his eyes.

“Number 7…” He blushed. Julie would not let him hear the end of that one. “Find someone to love.”

“Awww!” They all cooed, and Luke blushed a little more, avoiding Reggie’s eyes in particular. It was an easy one, really, and one that had been ready to be crossed off for a long time. 

“Well,” he said, “I love all of you, so there’s that.” 

Julie smacked his knee, Alex coughed, and Reggie was suspiciously quiet, focussing on petting Bowie’s head. 

“What? It’s true. Alex, you’re like a brother to me. I love you, man. Jules, you’re like… my platonic soulmate or some shit. I love that deep connection that we have. I love _you_ , period. And Reg, I…” he finally looked over to Reggie, who was looking up from Bowie to meet his eyes, a faint blush on his cheeks. Luke hummed. “Well, you know. You’re the best fucking person I know. And the best boyfriend as well,” he added quietly, winking. Reggie beamed, Julie and Alex cheered, and Bowie barked excitedly, as if he had any idea what was going on. 

“Right,” Luke said after a few moments, coughing, but still smiling stupidly. “Before this gets any more unbearably cheesy, let’s read the next one.” He scanned the page again, snorting when he saw the next point. “Number 8: Learn how to play the fiddle and/or the steel guitar. In brackets I wrote: for Reg’s sake, could also prove useful in the future.” 

All three of them cooed again, and Luke had half a mind to retract the statement he’d previously made about loving them all. But who was he kidding? He loved them to death, _literally_. 

“Lucas Patterson,” Reggie said, beaming so brightly, Luke couldn’t even tell where his smile ended. God, he was being an awful sap, he knew. “You _really_ love my country songs, don’t you?”

Luke shrugged and met his eyes, smiling softly when he said “No, just you.” 

And the cooing started right back up again as Reggie leaned across the couch to kiss him. He really was even worse than he’d thought. 

“Any more cheesy shit left on your list, babe?” Reggie asked as he pulled back. Luke smacked him on the shoulder. 

“He wrote a song about you the other day,” Julie blurted. “How about that?” Luke glared at her. 

“Did he?” Reggie raised his eyebrows at him. And why was Luke feeling so flustered all of a sudden? He’d written loads of songs about all of them before. 

“It’s- it’s not finished yet. But yes. It’s called _Accidentally Dating_.”

Reggie shrugged, nodding. “Sounds like us.” 

They high fived, and Julie rolled her eyes at them while Alex grinned. Gotcha. 

“So what’s next, then?” Julie asked instead of commenting. 

“Number 9: Go on a World Tour. Note: Don’t forget the sightseeing, Lucas.” 

“I think that one’s on all of our lists,” Alex said, “We’ll get there.” 

They all agreed, and Luke snuck a glance at the last point on his bucket list of things he wanted to do before he turned 30. He decided to keep that one for himself, for now. 

+++

**April 2022**

Reggie in a tux was certainly a sight to behold. But so where all of them, and Julie, who was wearing a gorgeous blue dress. Flynn was wearing a matching shade, happily clinging to Julie’s arm and giggling as they entered the gym of their high school, where their senior prom was taking place. 

Alex was smiling at Willie, who had traded his usual shorts for actual pants this time, but had chosen a funky kind of shirt all the same, matching Alex’s all-pink suit. The two of them were holding hands and kissing every now and then, and the sight made Luke feel all warm and happy for them. 

Smiling fondly, he turned to Reggie, who took his hand to match the others. Reggie was wearing dark blue, and it suited him so well that Luke actually wanted to take it right off again. His black shirt matched Luke’s black tux, and Luke’s blue shirt matched his tux. Julie had made sure of that. He was a bit grateful that people would only see them on stage for a couple of minutes, or else he might’ve died from mortification at being so blatantly cheesy. 

_Dirty Candy_ were on stage when they arrived, and Alex immediately dragged Willie on stage with him to dance along. Reggie poked him in the side, and Luke turned to find him pull a small bottle out of his pocket. 

“Willie gave me this. Apparently this is a leftover from Caleb’s club, and it _can_ make ghosts drunk. In case you want to cross that last thing off.” 

Luke considered the prospect for a moment, but shook his head. 

“Let’s save it for a rainy day. We don’t know what this does, exactly, and I really want to remember this.” 

Luke gestured around them, and Reggie nodded, putting the bottle back inside his tux. When he looked back up, Luke leaned in to kiss him on the lips.

“Wanna dance, too?” he asked. Reggie beamed. Moments later they were jumping around the students, pulling a prank on them here and there, like removing hair pins and tousling hair, laughing as they did so and falling into each other’s arms to be swirled around in between. Luke felt much like he did back on the beach that day when he realised he was truly happy, overall, despite everything that had happened to him, and that he was so grateful for his second chance, even after death. A lot of time had passed since then, though, and Luke had realised that happiness didn’t actually mean that you were happy _all_ of the time. There were days when he cried about his parents, there were days when he got angry at Bobby, there were days when he nearly felt himself drown in all his _what ifs_. But then his friends were always there to cheer him up, and to make him feel alive again. His friends, and his music. Both things he hadn’t lost when he’d died, and he had made the most of them since. Alex, Willie, Julie, and Flynn all joined them when Luke and Reggie were jamming out _Blinding Lights,_ all four of them laughing, their energy bubbling in a way that almost made it tangible. 

He’d made it, he realised then. He could cross off the last thing on his list now, too. 

_Number 10: Make sure my friends are happy, too._

\- END -


End file.
